Ram Are You There?
Pure Ram suggests that Ram is the ultimate.He is in me and he is in you.Though Ram suggests purity he lives in me in the company of impurities.He wants pure company.Pure Ram is a journey into the unknown through a path that lies unexplored within you for eons.I have tried to wiggle out free only to be bound so tightly that I seemed to have stopped trying.The struggle does not end though ,I keep getting reminded by Ram that he needs pure company otherwise he would leave me.If he were to leave me I would die.
I have no option but keep trying to be free.Ram tells me that HE is with me and he will show me the path.However I need to be intelligent to decipher from his gestures.I find it hard and even impossible to believe that he could direct me to do something that did not have something supra-mundane hidden in the type of activities he tells me to do.I may get nonplussed and may be forced to believe that it is “my” wish and not HIS wish but as the activity goes along I get solaced when I see HIM winking at me from a corner as I do HIS tasks.It may be as mundane a task as taking “my” children to school.
Logical Ram?
There was time when I did not know Ram. I did not know he existed. The “Logical” was the only thing that made sense. Life was dreary as ever and I went through difficult times in life as anybody else would. I was no different from a passer by.Praying had not been infused in me as an integral part of my upbringing.I do not remember if anyone asked me to pray.However due to unknown origins I always prayed in a routine manner.Life had challenges for me but it was kind anyways.
I had lost my father early and my grandfather had been running into diminishing reserves as he supported My mother , brother and myself.I grew up in a vulnerable environment. There is many a reason to believe that I was definitely being led towards my goal although I was oblivious of it. Praying continued to be done over the years and at that time I do not remember anything that led to indicate that it was bearing fruits
Life in College
Time rolled by and I secured admission in a reasonably known Engineering college.Going to college and doing my lessons was my regular occupation.If time permitted I would hit the movie hall , in fact more often than not.It was examinations that I wanted to avoid at all costs.The sad part was I had 2 dependents and I was another dependent on my grandfather.That led me to believe that examinations could not be avoided.I had a complaint of poor memory then.Now as I look back it is clear that family pressures can affect bodily faculties in a big way.
I needed some respite from failing memory.When I look back I reckon it was Ram calling. I wanted a quick fix solution and also something that was not heavy on my pocket.I was living with my Aunt in Pune.She was kind ,now when I think of it she was an extremely compassionate woman who poured as much care and love onto me as she would to her four growing daughters with whom I was staying while at Pune.I did not share my inabilities with them fearing that all this would add to the woes of my already distressed family.
