There is a voice in our head. We can hear it now saying “What Voice?” We can hear it while we are reading this. Some people call it god, some conscience, some the devil, some call it thinking. In my case, for a while, it was “the committee” nowadays it’s called “my ego”. We each have a voice. It is yammering away full time non stop . It carries on as naturally as breathing.
So, should we be listening to it? It depends. Is it being helpful and encouraging like a coach or mentor? Or is it keeping us in our place like well meaning parents, teachers, or boss?
What really matters is how aware of our voice we are. Normally “the VOICE” filters everything we hear with stuff like: “here we go again”, “I don’t believe this”, “what’s that stuck in her teeth”, “(s)he’s not listening to a word I said”, “when will (s)he stop talking”. “What makes this guy such an expert”, etc. The VOICE twists what was actually said. It colours all we hear, read, write, or say.
As an experiment, have a friend tell you things for a couple of minutes and then repeat them back. A lot of the loss of accuracy was the VOICE interfering. Don’t forget your friend has “the VOICE” too. So some of what you feed back will also be filtered. It’s amazing what a tape recording catches that we miss. The VOICE also applies to reading. How many times has your VOICE objected to what you’ve read so far?
My voice is going a mile a minute writing this. It’s a good thing at the moment. It’s coming up with examples to use, telling me to re-read what I wrote and then telling me how clearly it is presented and suggestions about how to make it clearer. It is at this moment telling me to keep writing while it’s all fresh and re-read it later.
So how important is “The VOICE”? Consider the voice to be emanating from a TV in the room you are in. You can choose to walk right up to it and give it your full mesmerized attention or you can walk away from it until it fades into a soft background murmur. You can put this TV in the corner of a big room or you can lock yourself in a closet with it. You have a choice. You just can’t shut the damn thing off.
By being aware at every moment that there is this background noise, you can choose to listen to it or not. You can actually train it to be fairer. You can convert it from nag to coach. You can challenge it. You can control it. When it starts to nag ask yourself how true its statements really are. For instance, you are about to get up on stage to tell people about a personal experience. Due to fear, the nag/demon/dysfunctional authority (VOICE) has kicked in big time with crap like: “I can’t do this”, “I think I’m going to be sick”, “I’m going to turn so red…”, “Everyone will see my trembling hands”, “I’m going to kill the guy who put me up to this”, etc. Now it’s time to take control, time to put things into perspective. Remind yourself whatever your truth actually is, for instance: “I had no trouble expressing myself when I was a little kid”, “I do have something important to say – that’s why I am here”, I can do this because I have done it before back when… and got great applause…”, etc.
The best people, our heroes and our mentors, have the best control over “The Voice”. They have found the remote and learned when to switch channels. They change “The VOICE” from a nag into a coach. So can you - moment by moment.
