“So, Mr. Nelson comes in on purpose?” “Yep, we all know him around here.” I just was perplexed, how sad that he was coming back that often. I knew I never wanted to land back in here, I did not want them to ever say I was a frequent flier! Of all things, a frequent flier meaning something other than plane travel? I did have to admit it was an interesting choice of words, describing Mr. Nelson's frequent visits.
I was once again glad for the quiet in the hallways, I hoped this man would get the help he needed and find something else to do with his life. I comforted myself thinking he would get tired of this otherwise alarming unhealthy way of living.
As quick paced as this nurse talked, that was how fast she went about her routine while in my room. I had become familiar with the routine of the hospital days. As she left she turned to me, “Be sure to buzz if you need anything.” I knew it would be another long day ahead. “Yes, I will be sure to buzz, thank you.” My morning nurse looked 30 something, short dark brown hair, she seemed nice, she was a fountain of information this morning. I was grateful for the time she spent talking about the patient I was so concerned about, she entertained me with her explanations of Mr. Nelson's plight. I was left wondering once more, what and how would I pass the time today, any diversion was welcomed. I forgot about Mr. Nelson for now and tried to rest.
Last night's many dark hours seemed eternal. I had not been able to sleep, I lay and watched the snow swirl around the buildings outside the very large window just to the right of my bed, it looked so cold outside, I felt it all the way to my very core. I noticed my bed covers again with their scratchy unfamiliar feel. My schedule had been so erratic, napping during the day was an escape, when night came I would be wide awake for hours, mostly watching the clock, listening to the radiator's clanging noise.
I was exhausted and couldn't seem to sleep at night, it was too many hours to be awake. I felt like the only person there that was up. I could not watch television as it gave me headaches and reading was difficult as my arms were already taken. I had IV's in the crook of my arm, and had become too weak to hold my other up for longer than 10 minutes.
I prayed, God let this nightmare be over soon, I wasn't sure how much more I could handle. There would be an unexpected emergency surgery ahead, the constant tests trying to see exactly what was wrong. If I had ever been pushed to my limits this would be the time. My sanity was eroding daily, I worried always was my son ok at home without me. Was his sitter reassuring him and doing a good job so he would be fine in my absence.
I continued to hear and see things while in the hospital that I only wish I hadn't, and now how was I to forget. I did not know for now just what was in store for the greater part of my stay here. Had I been able to foresee what I would endure in the weeks that lye ahead, being forewarned would not have softened or lessened the events that I would encounter.
