In many religions and areas of spirituality, resentment is considered the number one reason for being separated from the Sun Light of the Spirit. From my own personal experiences, I realize that I had much resentment I didn't even know about. It would lie dormant in my minds for long periods of time, just taking up space. I wouldn't even be conscious that it was there.
Then some day some thing would trigger it, and I would get angry all over again. I would blurt out and say or do something to someone that was totally innocent. The person or thing that had caused the resentment had long since gone. I would find myself wondering privately what happened. What had caused me to loose my temper over something seemingly unimportant?
When we are sad or depressed these resentments pop into our head. We play with them for a while. It's kind of like the instant replay you see in sports broadcasts. You play it over and over in your mind. Each time it gets bigger and more dramatic than what actually took place. You stop playing with it and put it to back of your mind again, only for it pop back out and be there in living color and larger than life again.
Is this phenomenon avoidable? Yes, I believe it is. It requires vigorous honesty on our part to see where this resentment is affecting our thoughts. We must pull it out and look at it honestly. What part did we play in it if any? Was it as bad as we made it out? Does holding onto the anger serve any purpose? What must I do to be rid of it?
There are many instances where resentment may be considered justified. Looking at it closely, if we are honest we can see that just doesn't play out in the long run. Say you are a victim in a heinous crime. Whatever the case may be, you are angry and violated. You hold onto that anger. Doing so will have a negative affect on the rest of your life. It is not worth to let another person have that much control over your thoughts and actions. Are you not making yourself a victim over and over, each time you think about it? I speak from the heart and from my own personal experiences when I say that to forgive is to forget. Let go of it and move on. It's not easy, especially if you are a victim, but how long can you afford to be that victim. How much will it cost you in the long run? These questions take hard and rigorous honesty. But, the end result is worth it. It means freedom from that resentment. The power to let it go and move on with your life is awesome. I know for myself, it gave me the freedom to live again, not merely exist. To do this right requires help from God and maybe even another person to talk to about it. It's worth every painstaking moment of whatever you have to do to rid yourself and be free.
I read an article once about a Pope that had been hit by a drunk driver. He was seriously injured and remained in the hospital for some time. As soon as he was released he went to the jail and forgave the man that hit him. You might say that you would expect that from a Pope. That he should have. But is he any different than you or I. Only in that he knew what carrying that resentment would do to his spirituality, his own relationship with God. What good would a Pope be if he were cut off from the Sunlight of the Spirit to anyone else? He was wise enough to know what he needed to do. Can you imagine the effect it had on the man that hit him? It would give him an open door to forgive himself and seek the help he needed to be free of his own demons. Do you poses the right the stop someone from the opportunity to free themselves of the guilt of their own crimes. To be reborn and closer the power that will save his life from agony, is the right of any human being.
This is not an admonishment, but a key to freedom. It means Freedom from guilt shame, and remorse. You must do whatever it takes to stop that which is keeping you from growing closer to that comforting power that can save your life.
