This piece is about creating your own self-love ritual to help cultivate unconditional love within your own heart and mind and spirit to share with the world. It all starts with you.
There's an issue in the world that has been going on since the beginning of time. There aren't enough people loving themselves. I truly believe that when we love ourselves individually the love for others flows easily and effortlessly. When we do not love ourselves as we should the love for others suffers as a result. Unconditional love becomes conditional love.
Conditional love is love with demands, with commands, and with judgment. Demands, commands, and judgment can not co-exist with love. Therefore, I believe conditional love isn't true love. Conditional love is just that - it comes with conditions that often sound like, “I will love as long as you do...” or “If you would just do this, then everything will be all right.” That's not unconditional love.
Unconditional love has no limitations, no demands, no commands, no judgments, no conditions of any kind. Often times, we find ourselves in life trying to find someone who will love us unconditionally even when we do not love ourselves unconditionally. These two things do not go together at all.
Love starts with you. Love starts within you. People can love you. But it will never take the place of the love you should feel for yourself. And maybe something happened in your life that shattered those memories of how to love yourself. Maybe something happened to make you feel down about yourself. The love inside of you never fades away. It never walks away from us. We walk away from the love within us.
There are so many ways to show love to yourself - exercise, eating mindfully, laughing more, smiling more, taking up hobbies, and enjoying fun activities with friends. Yet, there's one way I've found that helps to bring out the unconditional love within to the surface when it's been buried for so long. It's called a self-love ritual. Below is everything you need to get started with your self-love ritual. You can do this solo or with a group of close friends. You can tweak any way you wish to suit your individual needs at the time. Enjoy!
Self-Love Ritual
1 white or pink mini or taper candle
Meditation music & CD player
2 sheets of paper & ink pen
1 fire-proof bowl
Set the candle in the middle of your altar or table. Sit in front of it. Light the candle saying a simple, heartfelt prayer. I am not going to offer a prayer here because your prayer of intention for this ritual should be authentic and truly from your heart, imbued with all of your energy. Gaze into the flame of the candle while you say your prayer of intention. Start to play your meditation music. Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and meditate upon your intention. This will strengthen your purpose for the self-love ritual. Take one sheet of paper and write down the things within you that you have allowed to hold you back such as fear, doubt, worry, inability to trust, etc.
You can be as specific or as brief as you wish. This is your ritual. I only ask that you be extremely honest with yourself. After you've written all those things down, fold up the paper as thin as you can. Be sure you have the fire-proof bowl in front of you. Light the paper on fire. Set it in the bowl to burn up completely. Watch it burn. Feel yourself being cleansed of all the things that once held you back. You are eliminating them now with the fire. Grab the other sheet of paper and write down the intentions, desires, and/or affirmations that express what you are going to start giving to yourself and cultivating within yourself to brighten your life.
Fold it up and put it in front of the candle to be infused with the energy from the candle. Say another authentic prayer of love to yourself. Close your eyes and have a wonderful meditation session while you listen to your music for fifteen to twenty minutes. Bring your hands to your chest in prayer position and say, “Thank you” or any words of gratitude. Be sure to dowse the fire before retiring for the day or evening. Throw the ashes of your burnt paper in a dumpster or trash can away from your home/property. Keep the positive paper with you at all times.
This ritual is great to do during a New Moon or Full Moon. Keep in mind that this ritual isn't about making you love yourself or magically making it happen. It's about helping you tap into the power within you to love yourself the way you should be at all times in your life. It's about helping you take inventory of what is no longer working for you and allowing you the opportunity to look at what can work for you if you apply it in your daily life to show yourself love. I hope you enjoy this ritual. You can tweak any way you wish to suit your needs and intentions.
