To some we would be called poor white trash, but the ones who weren't poor white trash needed us as a comparison value so they could feel better about themselves, so you could say we were proud poor white trash on a mission to beat the system. This was a perfect job for a perfect hippie as the cops called me as I handed over the pick of the crop like mom told me to do and refused the money. Not only that, there was a resonant chord in the customers to help the little guy get ahead and beat the system in their own way. Everybody wanted to get closer to the Earth and what it provided, it's just that we all lived in cities and bought from the stores now and that's just how things were.
Mom was anything but poor. Never saved a dollar but she wasn't poor. She wasn't trash either. In another life she had been some sort of queen. A ruler who made false promises to the people. She used to brag about her former position as she had the memory. I thought she was nuts. Never got on with her until later in life.
While attending to her when she got older I had a flash of this other life with her. I saw myself assinating her, a knife to the back. I had asked the universe for this movie and the universe delivered. I must have been ready to see this other self that was me. I now had to payback in this life what I had done then because I wanted to. Our relationship made sense then, the reasons why we barely spoke for 30 years after I took off.
I don't know why passion for the slaves, those peasants in white, why their well being had concerned me and I had done the unthinkable but I learned to deal with it here and now and I was glad I had the strength to deal with it. It was about getting to the forgiveness part for each of us, and yes, I suppose mom was right after all, you take the bad with the good.
We finally did somehow, we both achieved that freedom from guilt that forgiveness brings, and now it doesn't matter what the details of that other place and time were like, only that we get back to the love part.
Forgiveness is not love. It's as close as we can get to god though. Forgiveness reveals the underlying love which is the only thing you take with you when you die. Love is all there is when all the allusions get stripped away and you're standing naked in the truth feeling like such a lightweight you might even blow away and that might be better than this pain inside you bore, trying not to bitch about it.
Think you haven't lived before? Maybe it's your first time here, or maybe you don't remember, because if you did, you might forget who you are now and get confused, or like me, suddenly everything would become clear, why things happened the way they did and why you came back, which is always the same for all of us, to get to the love part again because if you have not love, like JC said, you have nothing eternal.
Your body gets sucked back down into the ground but you can ride the love back home, a winner at last. Mom's on the other side now. She told me she wants to come back and fall in love again. You're kidding, right? I asked her. No, she had fun with it she said. As hard as she worked I don't know how she found time to fall in love. I know we have an afterlife and sometime I'm going to go see what she's up to. Probably no good as usual, but sometimes if you're good at beating the system, you just continue beating the system on the other side and folks keep letting you off the hook because you're not really harming life, you're just working for yourself, taking the good with the bad and even selling it to others and getting away with it.
