Why is it that we don't consult God or listen for God's direction/instruction when we are thinking about having a cup of coffee? Yet, when we want to make a decision about our career or life path, we get very ‘God-conscious'. We feel we need to consult with him/her and that we need his/her blessings.
And then, rather inconveniently for us, we find that, for some reason, God decides to mumble or mutter or speak incoherently so that we have difficulty discerning/hearing what he/she has to say. And sometimes, it seems that God won't speak to us at all and chooses to let us sweat it out for a bit before he/she decides to attend to our case.
What a God! And what a relationship we seem to have with this God. Rather like my bank manager and the relationship I have with him!
So, I guess, the question I am really asking is: What are we so afraid of that we feel we can only proceed with a decision when we have God's backing? Or put another way, why do we feel the need for God's approval, direction/intervention when the ‘stakes' are perceived to be high but not when they are perceived to be low? Is this our fail-safe should things not ‘work out'?
Come to think of it, the bank manager analogy is starting to fit better and better. I should think this through.
Okay, here is how I see it.
I don't have the best credit history with my bank. I haven't overdrawn massively so as to cause either of us concern but neither have I kept my balance at a consistently healthy level. For this reason and the fact that I really don't have a steady income, I am inclined to feel a little ‘undeserving' and ‘small' in the presence of my bank manager. I am not suggesting that the former justifies the latter. All I am saying is that the former seems to result in the latter.
Anyway, for most of my daily transactions, I have no need to consult my bank manager and so I transact confidently without any hesitation. But lately, I've been thinking of getting a personal loan from my bank and, oops, I realize I shall have to speak to my bank manager.
So I call to make an appointment. He picks up the phone but quickly excuses himself as soon as I tell him what I want to see him about. He makes some vague excuse about a meeting he should have been in five minutes ago and says he'll call me back. But he doesn't. So I'm still waiting....
Just like we're waiting for God's answer to the questions or requests we have. And while we're waiting, we wonder about how deserving we are. After all, we haven't kept our credit, I mean, ‘goodness' balance at a consistently healthy level. I don't suppose God will miss that point or choose to overlook it when he/she considers my application, I mean question/request, which is probably why he/she isn't giving me a quick answer. Not even a pre-loan approval! What will I have to do to get God's answer?
I'm beginning to notice something here. It's the child who's taken over me. The child who needs approval. The child who is afraid to proceed unless she knows that mummy or daddy is right by her. Crikey! I've become that blithering child! And daddy/mummy God is holding out his/her decision until...what???
Finally I hear God speak. This time he/she's loud and clear:
Grow up! Be an adult for goodness sake! And that means, first and foremost, being honest. Yes, I know, most adults aren't, at least not always. But that doesn't change my definition of an adult and part of that definition is ‘one who is honest'.
Be honest with yourself. How the hell do you expect to be honest with me without being honest with yourself??? What is it you really want? Not what you think daddy/mummy God expects from you. I quit that role ages ago. And yes, I do mean ‘ages'.
What do you want? And for goodness sake, use your imagination. Why on earth do you think I gave it to you if not to use to it to explore life's infinite possibilities??? So have a good wander around that field. Really spend some time there. And have a blast!
And for pete's sake, don't limit your thinking to a false set of choices. It does not have to be ‘this' or ‘that'. It could jolly well be ‘this' and ‘that' and a bit of the other...Get what I mean? I know what you're going to say:
"But...but...that combination doesn't exist!!!"
Well, bloody well create it then! Isn't that how you have been made? In my image? As a creator??? Just like me???
So stop stuffing around and get on with it! You don't need my blessings! What will you do with them??? Show them off??? And you certainly don't need my approval. Can't you see the backlog of requests that I already have is killing me???
As for wanting my approval so that you will have someone to blame should things go ‘wrong'....
"Well I consulted God and it was his plan for me..."
Ohhhh nooooooooo! You're not going to lay that one on me. Not any more. Listen, in case you were not given this at school, note it down now and keep it with you at all times. It's my definition of an adult:
Adult: Someone who
- Is able and willing to make decisions honestly, lovingly and freely without having to consult God
- Is willing to deal with the consequences of all such decisions
- Has faith in him/herself and uses that rather than some puerile notion of God to back them up
That's it. Now git.
Okay I get it. And to tell the truth, it's a bloody relief! Thank you God!
You're welcome. Sheezeeeee...the things you have to do in the name of God...
