What have I done to deserve this? This is a question that I ask myself when my life has turned to custard and nothing seems to be going to right. A head spinner indeed, I go over the events, conversations and relive the moments again and again. Then something ‘clicks’, I have come up with ‘something’, an idea, a thought creeps into my head that may have caused this series of events and I automatically feel better. I have a clue and now I can move along, put this event to bed and get on with my life again. I want to remember this lesson and hope that I don’t make the same bad choices again.
These choices are to do with ‘fitting in’. We all want acceptance and our family is a major player in giving us the support we need. What happens if they do not support us? What happens if we can’t feel good about ourselves in this environment? Do we turn and run, do we nod our heads smile and go and do what we need to be doing anyway? From experience this method has its own adverse effects, you sometimes feel like you are under the hammer. This is where you need to set up boundaries to protect yourself and take control over your own well being.
Getting your own support group is really what you need and creating a bit more privacy in your life without excluding your family, is in essence easier said than done. They do love you but you can’t always please them, you have to live your own life and the benefits of that are tremendous. This is the freedom that you deserve and the chance to live your life as an adult. You really need to get on with the things that make you happy and give you pleasure and your own direction in life. You need to get some skills to help you deal with your family in an effective manner too.
We learn from making our own mistakes but we can also learn from the experiences that others have already been through. We do not have to make the same mistakes over and over. It’s a matter of practice makes perfect. Sometimes getting your point of view across can be a chore but I feel that if you can be honest with yourself and try to be honest with others you will do okay.
Getting ‘out there’ to meet people and make friends isn’t always easy either but you sometimes you need to do it for your own well being. Social contact and acceptance is very important, especially to your own ego. People need people and it’s just a matter of hanging in there and taking some risks to find the ones that are like minded. There are several platforms that can be explored to achieve this. Once you have this support, you need to nurture it and hold on to it because good friendships can last a lifetime and see you through any hardship.
