Is it just bad manners, bad upbringing, or out of control egos? It seems like more and more brides are turning into Bridezillas five minutes after they agree to marry. And what exactly is a Bridezilla? First, thank your lucky stars if you've never encountered one, and if not, this pretty much sums it up:
A Bridezilla is an engaged woman who exploits the notion of a wedding being her big day. As the "Zilla" part of the name suggests a Bridezilla behaves like a monster and could care less what anyone thinks of her behavior. She is so focused on creating the perfect fairytale wedding that she believes the means (doing whatever it takes) justifies the end (her perfect wedding). It is her big day and nothing is going to get in the way of it. A Zilla is known to bully her family, friends and bridal party, make outrageous demands and break every rule in the etiquette book all in her pursuit of the perfect wedding. She truly believes that during this time she is the most important person in the world.
There have always been demanding brides but these days, just the fact that this term has become so commonplace in the English language endorses the alarming and nearly epidemic rise of the Bridezilla.
The term appears to have been first used in a Boston Globe article titled "Tacky Trips Down the Aisle" published in June, 1995. However it received more widespread notice when Modern Bride Magazine ran a Bridezilla comic strip in 1999. Oooh, talk about riling some feathers!
Is it a matter of brides behaving badly? Not really. It's more of an entitlement mentality young women have come to expect when it concerns weddings and marriage. Perfectly normal, perfectly pleasant women suddenly turn into tyrants soon after the ring slips onto their fingers. How bad can it be you wonder? Here are a few of the most common Bridezilla traits
- She thinks of the wedding as only her day completely forgetting that a Groom and his family are involved. When someone points out the Groom and the need to include him and his family she discounts the suggestion as unimportant and unwelcome.
- She is demanding and selfish to a fault.
- Complains constantly.
- Being self centered, rude and downright obnoxious is pretty typical.
- Her emotions run in constant high gear. Much of the time she is emotionally out of control.
- Crying fits are commonplace.
- She's always stressed out and can't seem to enjoy the wedding "journey".
- She treats her Bridesmaids (and often other friends and family) as though they are there to wait on her.
- She does not take anyone else's tastes (or allergies) into consideration when planning menus.
- She registers in the most expensive stores leaving no affordable options for those who can't spend $100+ on a gift.
- Or worse she buys an outrageously expensive item such as a boat or a house and asks friends and guests in lieu of a present to make a payment or even several payments.
- She decides on an unflattering bridesmaid's dress that will look good on only one or two of the women. She is unwilling to consider an alternate dress that will be suitable for everyone. The unflattering dress, by the way, is usually ridiculously expensive.
- She thinks no one cares about her. Never mind that her behavior has pushed everyone away; she won't take responsibility for her actions.
- If she had a sense of humor before she got engaged it is MIA until well after the wedding. Some women don't get it back until after the first anniversary.
Unfortunately these selfish behavior patterns are becoming more and more routine with brides-to-be. It's a shame really because these behaviors ruin it for everyone, most importantly herself and the Groom. When a woman begins behaving like this it's an insightful lesson for the Groom who can see what his new wife will be like after the marriage when stresses develop. Grooms have been known to call off weddings when they realize what they are marrying. And really, who can blame them?
