It is her day. I know this, she knows this, the families know this and the minister knows this. The onlookers, who barely blinked as I walked to the front of the altar, have risen out of their seats and turned (their backs on me) to stare at the bride as she makes her grand entrance. Apparently, they know this as well. It is her day, and I am relegated somewhat to being a figurehead, in place for decoration; a piece of the puzzle. This is the closest I will ever get to modeling.
It was recently suggested to me that the groom's role in wedding planning is as simple as, “Do whatever she says. No electric slide.” However, over the past few months I have come to the harsh realization that this is not the case. Thus, in the hopes it could be cathartic, I have decided to chronicle the experience that is “Wedding Planning” from now through the ceremony; taking you along for the ride every step of the way. Let's start by getting you all caught up.
A Groom's Tale: Volume 1
I think it is important to note right off the bat that after planning an elaborate proposal and dealing with the stress of asking her parents for permission to marry their daughter, a groom should be given freedom to take a few plays off, so to speak. It would have been helpful had someone warned me in advance that I may not want to bring this up. Oops.
After a solid week's worth of hearing how wrong I was to imply she could temporarily take the decision making reigns, it was time to get down to business. We needed to take care of all the initial important tasks involved in planning a wedding. Naturally, I figured this meant picking a date for the nuptials. Oops. There seems to be a pattern developing here. How can we pick a date when we haven't gone around telling the whole world we are engaged? One thing at a time here, big guy!
I was thoroughly confused at this point.
I assumed (I know, stop me right there) that it would be better to have a date in mind, so when we told people that we were engaged and they casually responded with the first question that always follows such an announcement (Have you set a date yet?), we would have an answer. Ok, lesson learned. Besides, announcing our engagement means we got to have an Engagement Party and I got to actually bring one friend to hang out with her whole posse! Had I known that, it may have happened much sooner! Sarcasm is my friend, if you hadn't noticed, and yes thank you, we enjoyed our time together at the party very much.
Now we are engaged and announced, and its time to make some big decisions. We need to pick a date that is both emotionally and financially feasible for the wedding to take place. Apparently a year and a half, while to me financially the only realistic option, was not what she wanted to hear, as it was much too far in the future. After several days of conversation, I actually convinced her that since she was stuck with me forever (in reality, there is an approximate fifty percent chance of forever, though I wouldn't bring this up to your bride-to-be), maybe getting married so far off wasn't a bad option. That is correct, folks, I actually got a decision to go my way! Adios, training wheels!
After the monumental personal victory, things really started to get rolling. She, I mean we, picked a venue for the reception and contacted her Pastor about officiating at the service. There was a small snafu, however, with the reception hall. We had chosen June 27, 2009 to be D Day; officially the first Saturday of summer. The hall told us there would be no problem as they were only aware of one booked wedding in 2009, and what were the chances it was that same day? The punch line here is probably as necessary as another Backstreet Boys album, so I'll just say that we are instead getting married on June 20, 2009.
The difference of one week was not a big deal to me. This is another comment I probably should have kept to myself. I was unaware that once we agreed upon June 27th, it had become perfect. I never said I was smart.
If you followed my path of learned lessons and “oops,” you have arrived at present day. You are back up to speed on the wedding planning process and just how incessantly a groom can be incorrect. Ladies, we are sincerely apologetic, but we don't know any better! Guys, buy your lady a card and a Blended Crème from Starbucks and things should get back to normal within a few days. I hope “normal” is a good thing.
This is what I've learned, from proposal to perfect days. Coming soon, I find out the importance of colors, wedding favors, The Knot.com and being completely different from previous weddings. Until I return, I wish you happy planning, blue skies and a world of original wedding favors.
Be well.
