Your off from work, you have a new baby to spend your time with, and you are often tired (and sometimes just don't feel yourself) this is a time where it is easy to fall into social isolation. It just fits, until it hits you, all you have been is a mom. You are tired of being home, tired of spending all your time mothering, and you feel socially dry. It is such that you haven't spent time with your friends, your family, or participating in your normal social events.
There are several things you can do to avoid such a disaster.
- Go on a date. Leaving your new bundle of joy behind, even for an hour can be hard to do, however it will be easier for both of you to get in the habit of doing this early, and it can be a great time for you and your partner. Often times marriage and relationships struggle after the arrival of that first baby. This can even happen after other babies, life changes dramatically, making it is hard to stay connected. Now is the time to have a connecting moment. Leave the baby in someone's capable hands, go to dinner, maybe a movie. Get out of the house, get dressed up, enjoy yourself. Take a stroll. Do something that reminds you that you are more then a mom.
- Keep up with friends, family, co-workers. If you would normally talk to them, give them a call, meet them for lunch, meet them at the local park and go for a walk. Don't cut yourself off (it is so easy to do!) Most of them will forgive you if all you can talk about is the new baby. However, they will feel as neglected as you eventually will if they don't hear from you.
- Keep up with activities. If you normally sing in the church choir, go to aerobics, or have a class on Tuesdays, keep it up. Just because your a new mom, doesn't mean you should stop doing these things. (Aerobics should be done after healing, and most people understand if you miss now and again due to parenting, but you shouldn't stop being a part of the world).
- If you are struggling, have get togethers based on your baby. Invite friends over to meet the baby. Have them bring a dish to pass for a dinner party with friends and family, or you can have them bring a package of diapers to participate in a grilling party. Make it about both you and the baby. That way you can have company, and stay close to your baby.
- Find a mothers with babies groups. There are a lot of churches who have such groups, where mothers get together and spend time with one another. This lets you take the baby (sometimes a nursery is provided), lets you meet other mothers, and get out of the house. Call around to various churches to see if there is a program in your area. If you can't find a church look into social programs, often they will know where such a group exists in your area.
Reach out, have fun, and enjoy being alive (and having that new bundle of joy!)
This is a very good article because it recommends realistic suggestions that will lift the spirit of the new mother.
Getting involved again is surely thebest way to reduce depression, boredom and loneliness.
When the baby sees the smoles from mommy , he or she will smile back and the chemistry will accelerate.
Keep up the good work.
Regards.
George Leard
edwardgrace999@verizon.net