The summer is over and school is back in session. The kids are all gone and for a few hours each day - your life will be your own. What will you do with the time?
When I was a mother with little ones at home, I used to count the days until school started again…looking forward to the mornings free of noise and clutter. My husband would leave for work and then the kids would leave for school. I'd lean on the door frame and watch as they boarded their school bus and withdraw into the “me time” that I couldn't wait to have.
I had all sorts of plans. I'd take the courses that I needed so I could have the career I've always wanted before marriage and motherhood changed my focus. I'd join the gym so I'd feel better about my appearance. I would learn how to drive so I wouldn't have to be driven and I'd get my own checking account and learn to keep it balanced.
Yes…I had all sorts of plans but I never followed through. Instead, I cleaned the house and made sure I took something out of the freezer for dinner. I baked cookies for the kids and did the laundry. There were those days when I read all morning and listen to music all afternoon and in between these two activities I'd watch the soaps on TV while munching on a big bowl of popcorn that I didn't have to share.
The days would wind down…each one seeming faster than before and by the time I decided to work on my plans, school was over for the day and the kids were coming through the door. But that's okay…tomorrow was another day.
Yes…there is always tomorrow, and the next day and the day after that. What I didn't realize was that I was losing myself in the pile of domesticity that was my life. I was ignoring my own needs while satisfying those of my family.
“I am a wife and mother first…” was my mantra until the day arrived when I realized how much of my life I had lived in the shadows of others.
The kids were all grown with lives of their own, and my life partner was partnering someone else. I had no ones laundry to do but my own, cookies were fattening and dinner was take-out. All of a sudden, I had more “me time” than I wanted. What would I do with the rest of my life?
I thought back to the plans I made all those years ago when my children were in school, wishing I had stuck to them. I would have a purpose now if I had…I'd have direction, I'd have a life.
“What's stopping you?” an inner voice asked.
I knew the answer but couldn't speak the words, “There's no one stopping me but me!”
Does this scenario sound familiar?
I spent some time feeling sorry for myself…wishing for the return of those back-to school days. I let self pity take my family's place and returned to the couch and that bowl of popcorn. Somehow, it just didn't taste the same. I knew at that moment that it was time for me to move forward…to file my memories where they were within easy reach and to make my life my own.
I applied for college and was surprised that my high school marks from so many years ago were enough to get me in without the need for upgrading. I studied for a career in the medical field, something I had always wanted to do and when I held that diploma in my hand I was encouraged to go further, reach higher…I was on my way.
I have been a successfully independent woman for years now. Not all of the blank spaces in my life have been filled in yet but now, when I think that tomorrow is another day I don't have to worry about my life slipping away. I can wait for tomorrow because the important blanks are already filled and because of that, all things are possible.
If you are like I used to be…don't wait as long as I did. Take advantage of your “me time” now so you can enjoy a special kind of “me time” when the kids are all grown and your life is once again your own.
