Shoes do nothing for me. I could never be a woman who hoards shoes, or goes gooey inside at the sight of a sparkly pair of stilettos. As far as I'm concerned, shoes are a necessary evil. A handy piece of clothing required simply for the protection of feet.
I don't like shopping for shoes. I try to put it off as long as possible every time, and am often forced to concede that the battered pieces of leather on my feet are no longer attractive or smart in any way. So when the time comes to seek out another pair of boots, work shoes, or trainers, I trudge resignedly to the nearest large shoe outlet. I need a place with plenty of choice, as surely there'll be something amongst all those shelves of heels, laces, and glitter that I can actually wear without despairing?
Then comes the task of finding something. I nearly always have something in mind, but perhaps it would be simpler if I didn't. Finding exactly the shoe I'm after seems, without fail, to be a task designed to test my patience at every level. If it's not a case of finding the otherwise ideal shoe in nothing but vile pastel shades, it's always the problem of a perfect, rather lovely piece of footwear propped up on a ridiculous heel that would turn the already five foot ten inches of me into a towering giant who would come close to dwarfing my perfectly proportioned six foot boyfriend.
I enjoy my height for the most part, but do not wish to add to it grotesquely. And it makes the task of finding shoes all the more frustrating. I am convinced that shoe manufacturers are heightist. They cater wonderfully for the average height woman, and do wonders for shorter ladies who feel more confident boosting their height, but for those of us who are quite tall enough, thank you, finding nice shoes that don't turn us into female Goliaths is nigh impossible.
Are there really so many women who truly adore shoes? I have heard of them, certainly. I have witnessed the despairing tones of husbands and boyfriends whose bedrooms are being transformed into new branches of Faith. But they seem to be the exception rather than the rule. I have never had any close female friends with a passion for shoes. Personally, I find the whole assumption that we girls revel in the presence of footwear, and are all money-making putty in the hands of shoe manufacturers, both disturbing and annoying. I am not, and have never been, a shoe worshipper.
