“Let her cry, for she's a lady,
Let her dream, for she's a child,
Let the rain fall down upon her,
She's a free and gentle flower, growing wild.”
-Wild Flower, Skylark
I believe that one of the most compelling moments in a woman's life is to discover herself closely through her ups and downs.
What is the essence of being a girlfriend? a wife? a mother? a mistress? etc.
I can say that nothing is really constant not even the goals I set for myself. As I get mature and wiser, my desires likewise evolve.
No Reason For Self-Depreciation
My dad once told me, “You have to realize what you really want.” From then on, I started drawing my goals and what I really wanted to happen in my life. I am proactive and optimistic. I set my mind that “I can do this and I should do this.” I don't feel odd about myself. I'd think I'm beautiful. The most beautiful woman. It's not being boastful, it's gearing up. Because I want this, I have to do my best. The essence of being a woman is to make personal dreams come true.
Knowing My Edge
I kept a dream book. In my dream book, I pasted pictures which I cut from newspapers and magazines. I'm a shy type of person so I cut a picture of a woman standing in front of a big audience. I included pictures of a happy woman, a handsome guy, a car, a big house, mobile phones, etc.. Some of them are long-term goals. From time to time, my dreams are coming true.
I am proud to say that I am confident now and I am definitely happy. I already met the handsome guy in my life. But my dreams do not end there. I will still add pictures-colorful and beautiful pictures. My future will be brighter then.
The Painful Truth
I am a mistress. It's a fact. It's not a lie. It hurts. I am so sad because I cannot have the one I love but somehow I realize that someone is in much deeper pain for not having me.
I lay awake for many nights asking why it had to happen to me. Why us? Why make us meet and fall in love, stay in love-and make me suffer like this? I felt cheated by love and life.
I cry once in a while and my tears are proof that I am alive.
Living Through Pain
Pain often leads us to hate ourselves. It discourages us in pursuing our goals. But the truth is pain help us to learn and accept the fact that life is not all so nice. How can we feel real happiness without going through pains and sufferings? How can we appreciate life without being hurt?
I am happy but it does not mean I am not hurt of the situation I have right now. I am happy because I have the courage to go on with life. No matter how harsh experiences are, accept the fact that everything happens for a reason. Living through pain is hard but it's possible.
Loving, Learning, Living
Embrace life and somehow you will realize how precious it is. All I wanted is to love and be loved. I always wanted to be a faithful girlfriend who remains devoted "til the end. Love came when I wasn"t looking. Being a mistress is not a worst thing because I like the fact that I am the other woman. I still believe that loving someone is not a mistake. Loving is a feeling that brings both joy and pain to my heart. Pain from knowing that I am so in love.
Everything happens for the best, even if it does not seem that way in the beginning. Learn from pain and live life. You cannot make everything perfect. Things happen when it happens. If you're hurt, so be it. Life will never be fair. We just have to live it to its fullest.
Faith Is Equal to Success
I am a faithful person. I believe in myself. When I stumble and fall, I get up. I don't lose hope nor quit. Faith is the key to success. I understand that life never seems to be the way I wanted-trials, problems, difficulties are constantly following my way. But I won't escape from it. I will fight.
A famous quote says, “There was never yet an uninteresting life, such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior, there is a drama, a comedy and a tragedy.”
C'est la vie!
