Is Our Feminine Side Missing?

I'd like to extend this thought to our attitudes towards feminity itself... I think the real question here is how we define feminity - is it how we dress, what we look like, how we interact, how we think? There are a lot of women that dress and look very 'feminine' but in terms of their mental make-up, they just... aren't. We've all met them, some of us are them.

The other biggie that I grapple with on this - does feminity mean strenght, or fragility, or the illusion of either/both?

The word feminine comes from the word "female." If you think of it, the word "male" dominates, even in the concept of the "feminine." Same goes for "woMAN."

As opposed to using terms like "man, woMAN," "male, feMALE" we could just use the words "boy, girl." With these terms there are no shared letters, the number of letters is slightly different but no big deal (3 for "boy" and 4 for "girl"), and they sound quite different when spoken aloud.

In this light, the essence of being "feminine" is that which makes a girl a girl, and the essence of being "masculine" is that which makes a boy a boy.

The best place to study this is in the kindergarten, where boys and girls interact in a more or less untutored way. One can set up simple experiments, make observations, and see human behavior unfold.

Being a boy means building great big buildings with blocks, and then knocking them all down in a burst of enthusiasm just to see the blocks fly and hear the sound of crashing. Very boy.

Being a girl means taking the same blocks and building little outlines of a house, and then cramming dolls into the space, as well as furniture, pictures, little lamps, and anything else little girls can think of to cram an interior. Very girl.

As boys and girls get older, they change their approach to these basic differences, but the differences remain.

Which of the two comparisons strike you as more girl or more boy?

1. Soulful interior vs. vibrant exterior.

2. Intuitive introspection vs. intellectual mastery.

3. Emotional warmth vs. physical accomplishment.

4. Power through attractiveness vs. attractiveness through power.

Both boys and girls do these things, but I would say that the answer to this little quiz is: 1. girl/boy, 2. girl/boy, 3. girl/boy, and 4. girl/boy.

So to be feminine is that which one accepts as girly, and masculine is that which one accepts as boyish.