"I was in an abusive relationship for five years, it was never bad though just pushing and shoving and the occasional slap."
These are the words of Vikki Campbell a victim of domestic violence; she never really called herself a victim that is until her ex-boyfriend cut her down the face with a black handled hunting knife. She had surgery and received one hundred stitches; to this day, she has regular consultations with a plastic surgeon.
Domestic violence is a reality that most people do not realize however, according to the American National Organization for Women, Four women will die every day from the hands of a boyfriend or a husband, the worst fact of all is that the fatalities caused by domestic violence is greater than the number of soldiers lost in the Vietnam war.
An even greater number is the reported assaults, which is approximately 572,000. American National Organization for Women estimated that the number of the unreported assaults is two to four million and those figures are without the sexual assaults. Approximately 132,000 women are reporting rape or attempted rape and more than half of them knew their attacker.
Once in a violent relationship it is hard to get out, without being in that situation it may be hard to understand. Unfortunately people's ignorance make them forget that it is not an easy situation to just leave, women in this sort of violent environment fear for their lives and if they have children fear for their children's lives.
What will a violent man do when the threat of his dominance or control is threatened? That is just it nobody really knows someone's full capabilities. For women who are ready to leave, there are places to go and people that help. Have a bag packed with clothes, money, spare sets of keys and any necessary documents, passports, birth certificates and any order of protections, have it stashed at a friend's house, or someone you can trust, also tell a boss at work about the home situation.
Inform a neighbour also about the situation so at any time if they hear your cries they can call 911 or for Australian residence 000. For better assistance call your local hotline for battered women and ask to have any information sent to a friend, if you have a few dollars you could even buy a book called ‘What to do when love turns violent', written by Marian Betancourt, she spent three years preparing her escape with her children from a violent husband.
For friends and family, the person that knows when the time is right to leave is the woman, after all trying to leave an abusive husband or boyfriend is a risk. Hopefully by reading the right material and getting good advice the time to leave will be sooner rather than later - never underestimate the strength you have, living with abuse is proof enough of just how strong you are.
