When you see a family that is still intact after an upsurge of modern diversions and liberalism, congratulate the wife.
Yes, this is not an issue of who's the greater sex, but the wife takes much of the credit for keeping the family together.
Statistics show that the minimum average span of long staying marriage is five years and the maximum average span of marriage is 20 years.
This means that having survived a marriage for five years now is already considered long and something to be grateful about.
Of course there are also marriages which go beyond the average maximum longest span and stayed married for 30, 40 or 50 years or until “Joe Black' meets any of the spouse.
Still the statistics is alarming as it makes marriage temporary and dispensable which oftentimes result to shattered, displaced, insecure, problematic children.
It is the wife that keeps the ties of the family.
Very commonly now (and perhaps even in the past) issues on philandering and infidelity of husbands, top the reasons on broken families.
Again this is not raise an issue on sex, but it has already been proven that the males are prone to linger and to indulge in extra marital affairs.
When a wife finds out that her husband is cheating on her, the feelings of being stabbed, insulted and betrayed overwhelms her instantly.
“Am I not hot anymore?”, “Is this what I deserve after everything and the kids?” and all the other questions and exclamations. Until it will result to fiery bouts of words and some may right then and there, leave or drive the husband away.
The leaving and driving of the husband away is actually a mechanism of soliciting the assurance of “valuability” for the wife.
“If he still wants me, he will beg for me to go home.”
“If its still me he will come back and return home.”
Good if it happens that way, but what if it wont.
In Catholic countries when the wife is expected to be submissive, there is this very strong inclination to forgive immediately and everything goes back to the normal set-up.
But what if, hubby again continued his “afternoon delights”, “three o'clock breaks”, “midnight snacks” and the rest, to the woman not his wife?
Of course, the wife now, reeling from the husband's past affair, will already feel very much abused, taken for granted and again betrayed---these are very destructive to the “beingness” or “personhood” of the woman that she is.
Then she leaves or she drives him away.
The family is now broken and again the children are the victims.
Think of it, when a wife calls it over, the family is over.
Speaking from my point of view and I would like to reiterate this once again, that although both decides on the issue of being married still, it is the wife who says the last word.
For almost 10 years now, I realized that husbands who linger do not have the intention of leaving and breaking the family.
To my fellow wives, we must accept that in this age and even before, men are weak as they tend to give in easily to their primordial instinct.
And we gave a promise of looking after each other, in sickness and in health--- this is a form of sickness.
A wife for me should hang on and go beyond and on top of the situation.
“I value myself, he values me, he married me, he loves the kids, so why will I give it up?”
And have you thought of the idea, that when you give him up, it will make the other party happy at your expense?
I know it is not easy. But it is the sanest decision that a wife could ever make.
Instead, we follow what most of the people would easily say, “Lets make ourselves attractive and valuable”, “Lets put a touch of mystery by giving him space”
But most importantly, we hang on to our prayers and make efforts in creating an environment worth coming home to and fighting for.
“Nope, that wont work with me, once I know he cheats it will be over, its my right to be happy,”
True. There are always reasons a wife is entitled to.
But then there are noble and rewarding results, when a wife balances well and helps her man really a MAN, by keeping him in the family the both of you decided to create.
Now doesn't that make us the stronger sex?
Congratulations wife.
