Motherhood: The Makings of a "Superhero"

Many of us mothers don’t even realise how much we change when we have children. We change overnight from carefree, relatively selfish beings, to child obsessed, ‘jack of all trades’ who are ready to take on the world.

It really is solely a ‘mum’ thing and I don’t believe it affects fathers in the same way. This definitely isn’t a trait we ‘learn’ from our own mother’s, it really is hugely instinctive, as if a switch flicks the moment we become a mother. I certainly cannot strongly recall my own mother living such a selfless existence, although I am sure she did.

Society heavily judges and criticises the young, or single mum, but what we do not praise is the sacrifice that even women in disadvantaged situations make. The instinct of a mother is the same whatever our social circumstance.

What is it that actually changes?

It is true that we become sacrificial beings, from the point of motherhood we never put ourselves first. How many times have you lovingly prepared a meal, served the food to the entire family, ensured the kids have eaten, and then suddenly realised that you forgot to eat?

By the time dinner has been eaten, the clearing up has been done, the packed lunches have been made, the school uniforms laid out for the morning, you are just so tired, but our natural ‘auto-pilot’ enables us to cope, and we just keep going. Do we complain when there is no hot water left to have a well deserved soak in the bath? No we don’t, we just accept that as long as the rest of the family have been catered for, then that’s o.k.

Being a martyr doesn’t help

Many of us have understanding and willing partners, who put themselves out to share the parenting role. But if you are anything like me, for a reason even I cannot explain, I just have to do everything myself!

I am one of those people who likes things done in a certain way, and if I let anyone help me, then I spend time afterwards doing the very same thing, the way I would have wanted it. So with that in mind, it’s just easier to do it myself.

I kick myself sometimes, when I hear myself moaning that I have so much responsibility in the home. But I really do bring that on myself. Being a martyr really does not do me any favours.

It isn’t always rewarding

Unfortunately, children being the way they are often don’t realise just how much we actually do for them. I do find myself thinking sometimes that I am a walkover, a slave to the family, and at times even question why I do it.

But children are just that. They all begin life being selfish, that is nature. It is up to us as parents to teach them to show appreciation for things in life.

We always insist that they thank granny for the pocket money, or politely send ‘thank you’ letters after birthdays. But we don’t ever enforce the thanks that is owed to us.

Getting the right balance

As with many women, myself included, the hard work doesn’t just stop at the domestic responsibilities. Many of us are maintaining paid employment too. Through choice, many of us strive to maintain careers, as well as raise a family, and wouldn’t have it any other way.

The independent woman of this era really does deserve the title of ‘Superhero’ as they carry on with life, coping with every catastrophe and challenge that is thrown at them. Lets face it, life would be boring if it was any different.

We should all take time out to evaluate our roles from time to time. If you are lucky enough to have an understanding partner then use that to your advantage, and start to pass on some of the responsibility to them. If you don’t accept the help, they are likely to stop offering it.

When your kids are old enough to realise just how much you do for them, I am assured that the rewards really are profound. I am looking forward to this very much, and it is with this in mind that I carry on, enjoying the buzz that being a modern women, who takes on everything life throws at me.

I am proud to be a modern working mother, and wouldn’t have it any other way.