Of Men, Women, and Shopping

What is it about shopping that attracts women like ants to candy and drives men into a hysterical state? Mention the promise of a shopping escapade to a man and he a suddenly remembers that his mom asked him to buy vinegar, but it is a very rare kind of vinegar and finding it would probably take all day. Or he feigns a debilitating stomach ailment and happily resigns himself to being bed-ridden for a few days. Or he picks up a fight with you and walks out, leaving you wondering what it was you said and making him think: “Whew, that was close”.

It could have been his greatest fear coming to life judging from his reaction, but it was just the prospect of getting towed along while you fulfill one of your God-given responsibilities: bringing goods to their highest level of actualization by buying them and using them for their intended function. It's one of the things that men can't understand about women, along with having a bout of short-temperedness before the onset of certain red-letter days every month, and having to go to the bathroom in pairs. As we often say, it's a girl thing, and guys may never get anywhere near understanding these phenomena.

Nevertheless, men are mainstays in women's lives. They are our fathers, brothers, boyfriends/husbands/bestfriends. They give us their seats in congested train cars. They take us on dates and pay for our dinners. And, they carry our shopping bags for us. So, this is a worthy attempt to make them understand the shopaholic side of every woman, at the very least.

Shopping is probably the most effortless activity for a girl. It takes only a good pair of legs and arms ready to carry shopping bags, if any. Only very little amount of complicated thought processes is involved during shopping, as you don't need to burn brain power to get your legs walking normally. And for this, shopping is the most logical thing for a girl to do after a day of mental, emotional and, sometimes, physical calisthenics at work. It's like men going to the bar and downing beer, or shooting some hoops, which are some of their favorite stress relievers.

Let's say, a girl's significant other has let her down. He has set her aside for a sports game, another woman, or worst, another man. Or maybe, he said he'd call or come see her at home, but he didn't. Or he said he loved her, but she found out that those words are tied to the words “…today. Who knows about tomorrow?”. As a result, she feels neglected, her self-esteem marginally depleted. What can raise her morale better than buying or even merely looking for something that looks like it was made for her? It can be a dress, a pair of shoes, a bag, etc. AND it can even be a man, one who likes women, calls when he says he will and loves her everyday and any day of the week.

One of the primary reasons that sends women to numerous malls on search-and-rescue operations is an important event coming up. Here, an important event can take on many different meanings. It can be a Friday which merits donning a new outfit in honor of her newly-painted toenails. It can be a big office-sponsored dinner affair. And, it may be a movie date with the man in her life, which is often the biggest of all events. Owing to the importance of any of these events, a woman would naturally want to look good, thus, the customary search-and-rescue operation for the best buys in town.

There are other zillion reasons why women find shopping a necessary part of their existence. The reasons vary from woman to woman. But, to most women, the privileged level that shopping enjoys in their hierarchy of needs easily follows normal logical reasoning. To men, this is like rediscovering the Theory of Relativity. But, as characters playing lead roles in our lives, men should realize that, like maternal instincts, unconscious grace and intellectual superiority, shopping is inherent to a woman. Take it away and we would be the “yin” without the “yang”, the rain without the rainbow, the Spaghetti song without the “pataas at pababa”.

Or, let me bring it down to a man's level. Take it away and you would be a man without his mother/sister/wife/girlfriend. What kind of world is that?