Online dating has become a huge success, almost overnight. It has grown so huge that a massive portion of the world’s singles – and non-singles – are going online to find a partner. The partner in question might be wanted for companionship or maybe even romance, while for others, mild flirting is the requirement. Of course, there is a portion of people who are also looking for the so-called ‘cyber sex’ and for an erotic fantasy to be fulfilled. Whatever the reason is behind someone going online for any kind of relationship, I ask myself: what is the fuss about?
Out in the Real World, it can be a thrilling experience to meet someone, catch their eye, and feel butterflies. It can be an exciting time when you work up the courage to swap numbers, call each other, arrange a date, and meet with the idea of romance looming. But online, nothing could possibly compare… can it?
Every day, hundreds of thousands of men and women visit popular dating websites with one thing in mind: meeting someone exciting. Maybe they all secretly hope that they will be the next Joe and Kathleen of You’ve Got Mail? It seems that there is an element of mystery and endless possibilities when stumbling across someone’s online profile. It seems that there are no boundaries and the world – by means of the Internet – is anybody’s oyster. And, it is quite easy to understand why…
Imagine being able to see someone online whom you find attractive. Straight away, you can find out hobbies, age, marital status, hopes and dreams for the future, sexual orientation. You can view various photographs – all be it, carefully selected, flattering ones. This alone misses out any awkward questions you may have to ask when you meet someone 'traditionally'. It rules out the uncomfortable questions about family, children, occupations; it’s all there in black and white.
But then, surely there are also downsides to outweigh the positives? For example, when you are out in a bar with a date, you know without a shadow of a doubt, that your date is there with you. He isn’t dating another woman at the same time. He isn’t smiling at another woman, giving her a compliment and then turning to you and doing the same. But online, he (or indeed she) can be talking to others just like you – maybe even hundreds! And that can’t be a good thing – unless it is you personally with hundreds of interested dates to choose from!
And another negative of online dating would surely be the risk factor? If you decided to meet someone whom you have met over the Internet, there are safety risks. We don’t know these people; they could be anybody. But then again, aren't there potential risks with everybody? Doesn’t traditional dating provide us with this same concern?
Another question to ponder is this: can we get to actually know someone online? Isn't someone online just words on a screen? But then again, do we ever actually know the people we stumble across in real life? The answer there would be a no. And in meeting someone online, maybe it is easier to be your true self, without the bravado or expectations that we experience in normal day-to-day life?
It seems that whether we choose to experience the online dating scene or not, there are advantages and disadvantages, just as there are with meeting real people out on the street or in a bar or club or even at work. There are pros and cons to dating full stop. But it can be appreciated that the excitement of receiving an email from an online lover must be thrilling, and to see them pop-up online must be a heart-racing experience – like a surprise date. Either way, we are no longer limited to meeting people – friends, lovers, or life-long partners – in the outside world. We now have another option – and having options is never a bad thing.
