Recently, I have listened to some of my black sisters discuss the role of the black man in relationships, and the family. I agree that this has been a challenging topic for some time. With the increasing absence of the black male due to prison, AIDS, homicide, and homosexuality, we leave our women and children left to defend for themselves.Because of this epidemic, we force our women to be strong and independent versus allowing them to be feminine, and supportive. I'm not saying that you have to be dependent on us, for many women have successful careers and can take care of themselves, but women were made to be a help to her man.
I feel that we as black men need to first understand the makeup of the black woman. She is very resourceful, intelligent, loving, caring, and virtuous. She can and will survive if her back is against the wall. She has a self motivating attitude, and her make up is to complete and not compete. Her intuition is very sharp, and she has a motherly instinct like none other.
It takes a strong black man to love a strong black woman. Too many times my sisters hook up with a momma's boy, who is spoiled to the core. I feel a real man will learn and take the necessary sacrifices to make a committed relationship work. I admit it's not always easy, but anything worth having is worth fighting for.
A real man will make the atmosphere in the home pleasant for everyone. He studies his wife and children and finds out what makes them happy. One of the main problems is we are living together without the legal commitment. If a man is not man enough to marry you, then he shouldn't be living with you. Too many of our women are givng the man too much too soon. Make the brother respect you. Coming from a man, he never marries the one who gives him everything, but marries the one that puts restraints on him.
Respect is not always given, but it should be demanded. If there are children involved, then it comes as a package. Don't allow a man to be with you, and not like your kids. Also, stop bringing men around your children if the relationship doesn't show any promise. Too many of our youth are confused because they don't know who daddy is from one week to the next.
In today's society, we have too many women taking care of men. This has allowed our men to become lazy, and expect everything to be handed to them. I was a momma's boy, and she did everything for me, and if she didn't do it, my grandmother did it. When I married my wife, she demanded that I had a job, and that I went to work every day. No matter how late I stayed out the night before, I had to get up and go to work. Now, I've been married to her for 18 years, because she didn't just settle, but she was the perfect helpmate to push me to be a strong black man.
If you don't remember nothing that I said, remember this: You are a valuable asset to the black community. Don't just settle for less, demand that best.
