Raised by a very conservative mother, no dating really until marriage, old, very old island Greek ethics, I was thrown into the wolves' fold when I decided after nine years of teaching to go to Florida and attempt to get a doctorate in English. Being of a professional, methodical slant, I planned my escape from Church parties, and family gatherings, and yearly sojourners to my island of birth.
Successfully ensconced in my home on the waterfront in a very conservative section of the island that I had chosen as American substitute for my island of origin, I was uncomfortably acquainted with fellow Greeks living outside of the island but selling themselves to us on the island, their services that is and the funniest thing one of the shadiest members of their group told me after I had purchased his legitimate product was:
"Baby, put on something sexy and I will be down there quickly."
He arrived smelling like an unwashed sponge left to dry on the docks. I was not amused and not comfortably dressed. But not smelling, either.
The situation grew from curiosity to downright dangerous triangle as I had called the local priest and asked about him and his brother and their television service. The priest whose daughter was dating his brother, told him of my asking personal information about them, and like are they married? He told the priest that I was witch who lit candles on her dining room table. Since I was also a member of the Church choir, I noticed that contrary to Greek custom, he never came to church.
He shows up smelling like a hobo and stunned that you haven't changed. He goes on to inform you about his traumatic childhood and that he would like you to be his secret partner for a few thousand, but you are not to tell your family. You are not to tell your family? The funny Hollywood line is now not so funny.
Years later, after marriage and kids, and separation, a friend of his calls you and starts up a friendship. You are curious and knowing what happened to the curious cat, careful not to offend his friend. He calls you often and is every bit the gentleman. Eventually sensing that you are not hostile he becomes enthralled at your telephone presence. He calls often and occasionally sensing your nervousness makes a kind suggestion about reducing your stress level.
"Are you taking a bath? Touch yourself for me."
Turning the shade of a lobster in hot water, you end the relationship by blocking his phone number.
"Really? I happen to have been planning to touch myself with gel and a loofah." '
Actually the world is made up of men who are not above using intelligent wealthy women for their own purposes, WOW, I bet you didn't know that. But I am writing to those girls who are finding themselves in today's society facing situations caused by their parents' past and not their own. And, there, are a lot of us out there.
A list of possible lines and my reaction:
I would never dream of telling people how to react but if you hear these lines, know that they are practiced ones.
“What do you do?”
Now, he said, what do you do. He didn't say how do you do. I told him live.
“You should hear what people are saying about you. But screw them let's go somewhere and get it on.”
Really. I presented him with a Trojan and told him to add to the gossip.
“My mother warned me about women like you.”
This from a lawyer sitting next to me on the way to NASA. I told him not to worry I was planning on going overseas immediately.“Baby, I miss you. I want to be with you. Andrea is only for fun, you should have seen what she did last time I did something to her. She pulled out her Bible and started reading it. She's crazy.”
I told him to keep on missing me. “Honey, I love you very very much, but I am broke and my mother and I just finished remodeling my apartment and you would just love it.”
I really didn't know what to say, honestly.
“How are you doing? I mean you, how are you doing?”
Better than your wife I hope.
“You care to put that down in writing?”
Yes, sir, I was telling you about a bank fraud, not a secret threat.
For whatever it's worth, only men who hear themselves in reading this article need squirm.
