A tongue in cheek response to "The Rules Of Life Made By Men".
Be nice. It's really easy.
We like shoes, you like indescribably boring things. What's the problem?
If we wanted to be directed in how, what and why to do most things, we would all volunteer to become lab rats
Be quiet more often. Most of us stopped listening an hour ago.
Put the toilet seat down. Some of us fall in. (True story).
A headache for 17 months is a problem. See a teacher of Asperger's children who will show you how to read polite and subtle social cues.
You are totally fabulous. You are the best. You look great. No, that other guy is a wimp compared to you.
We don't care if you scratch your genitals, but your customers' might
Please build a room for your self to watch TV in; we have a life in this part of the house
We don't usually respond to grunts. It's so unfair, you're right… again.
If you don't like the way we look these days, feel free to have sex with the door
Why do you talk so much?
Come to us with a problem only if you want an intelligent answer. “You are totally fabulous. You are the best. You look great. No, that other guy is a wimp compared to you” does not count as intelligent.
Unfortunately, our honest response is more likely to be, “I don't care”. So maybe, don't ask.
Many of us hate shopping too. Stop complaining and carry the freaking bag.
Wherever possible, leave us alone. If that's not possible, please refer to points 4 and 12.
Thanks for reading and yes I would love the bed to myself if you enjoy that campy feeling of sleeping on the couch!
