It's morning. A new day. There's so much to get done. I get started and I go until nighttime and get several items marked off on my “to do” list. Wow-what a great day.
The next day: A new day. If I got twenty things done yesterday, then surely I can do twenty-five today. Oh boy-I'll get that to do list knocked out. I work into evening and go to bed exhausted.
The following day. Work? I don't want to do that. There's a huge list and I don't want to get started. I spend all day reading a novel. Now I feel guilty-and totally burned out.
Workaholism creates a negative cycle of overwork and underwork, of self-esteem based on achievement, and of guilt and shame when burnout happens. How can I live a balanced life?
First, I did a time budget. Part of my workaholism was based on the idea that I didn't have enough time and I would stress out any time something came up that would reduce the amount of time I had for my work.
So, I listed all the things I need to do, for my house, my work, and my volunteer work at my church. I estimated how many hours per week I needed to do all those things and discovered an amazing thing: I had time. I had time to do the things that need to get done and then also time to enjoy myself. (Note: if you don't have time, then you're going to have to eliminate stuff on the list and don't tell me there's nothing you can eliminate.)
One perception of workaholics is that there isn't enough time-it's a lot like anorexics who believe they are fat. In fact there is enough time-and time for something different.
A second thing I did was to eliminate the things that my perfectionistic, achievement-oriented self would have me to do. I don't have time for those. I have time to do a good-enough job-not a super-duper totally wonderful job in everything, from cleaning to teaching. In this process I also eliminated things that I did but that didn't help me out. I unsubscribed from some e-mail lists and I started deleting a lot more e-mail (including most forwards).
I had to come up with some way to limit the amount of work set before me each day. The problem with a “to do” list is that each item is likely to generate two or three more items to do. There is no sense of getting finished because the list grows longer rather than shorter.
I decided to list ten things each day to do. I have a master list of general things that need to get done, from my time budget. If I have something scheduled for that day, it is one thing. Nine things left. If I have a lot scheduled, I might list really easy, fast things for the remaining items. If I have a slower day, I schedule longer projects. I also try to schedule some things I enjoy if I have to do some things I don't like.
I find that “process” items work better than “product” items. For example, my husband's computer has a problem. “Fix computer” is a product item-and if fixing the computer takes eight hours, then that one item hogs up the day and at the end of the day it still may not be done.
“Work on computer” is process-oriented. Take a step or two forward in this area. I feel a great sense of accomplishment even if the task is not finished.
I discovered one big way I waste time when I'm supposed to be working: dreading what I have to do. Using a timer has helped a lot-I tell myself I will work on something for fifteen minutes. Often it is done in much less time.
Finally, and this is a big challenge, get a life. Get something to do that is not work-oriented. Now, I am really good at taking a perfectly fine hobby and turning it into work. For awhile I knitted but then I turned that hobby into having to produce a certain amount of knitted projects.
What works for me is doing something that has no possible redeeming value. This includes reading trashy novels and playing on the computer.
Workaholism does not necessarily mean a person is getting a lot done. It often means a person experiences stress around work and obsesses with what is not getting done or a perceived lack of time. Addressing workaholism, getting out of the negative emotional cycle, involves setting limits on work, accomplishing tasks on a daily basis, and finding activities that remove the mind from thoughts about work.
