The Lives of the Paintball-Makers: The Tortilla

Have you ever gotten fired over a tortilla?

That's what happened to a guy I used to work with about two weeks ago. I'll give you the basics of what happened, then I'll tell you the rumors surrounding it.

It started when Larry the Hispanic was eating his tortillas at lunch. He had two left over, and he was full. Oh, no, what to do, what to do? He thought he'd be nice and give them to someone, so he put them in Charles' lunch box. Charles is the guy straight from Africa, here in America to study medicine. Or so he says.

So anyway, into the lunch box they go. Charles had apparently complained to the Supervisor, (perhaps he doesn't like tortillas?) and a week later, both of them are walked out the door.

I was hearing a lot of rumors around that one. One Lead was telling me that Charles thought Larry was actuallly trying to poison him, and he was actually going to go to the police about it (and the fact that Charles was always coming into work looking high or stoned doesn't help his case....) If you listen to Charles himself, they were moldy tortillas, and when he complained to Larry about it, his cousin Raul stepped in and physically pushed him away from Larry. Not only that, but the Supervisor was there and ignored it. I don't believe Charles' side, sorry.

And finally, we come to Larry's wife, Carmen. I think I've finally gotten the true story, here. Her side of it is: after Larry left the tortillas in Charles' lunch box, Charles started mouthing off, insulting hispanics in front of Larry (possibly because he thought Larry was trying to poison him?) So Larry went to the Supervisor and told him "you"d better shut the mother *#$%@& up or I'm going to kill him.' Ya, that's smart.

So now, it's illegal to carry a tortilla to work with you to work, unless it's under six inches long, because it's considered a deadly weapon... Just kidding, people.

I asked my Supervisor later if I gave him a tortilla, could I go home, too? He said he liked tortillas.