Most any guy you meet, and take an interest in, can be a boyfriend. But not all guys are capable of becoming “the man in your life.” Some guys become boyfriends right away. Others take longer. Most never learn the subtle nuances that would move them into position to be “the man in a girl's life.” They learn to become boyfriends, husbands or lovers--instead.

What's the difference? Well…

• Boyfriends tell funny jokes. Your man laughs at your jokes.
• Boyfriends wear new three-piece suits. Your man looks cool in his jeans, t-shirt and tennis shoes.
• Boyfriends drive expensive cars, with GPS systems, stereo sounds and sunroofs. Your man lets you drive his car.
• Boyfriends are good at playing Bid Whiz, Spades and Gin Rummey. You man plays cards too; with you and your mother.
• Boyfriends take you out to expensive restaurants for early morning breakfasts. Your man can cook and does.
• Boyfriends send you bouquets of your favorite flowers. You man picks you dandelion bouquets in the park with everybody watching.
• Boyfriends have elaborate stereo component sets. Your man shows you how to work his.
• Boyfriends call to ask you how was church on Sunday. Your man goes with you.
• Boyfriends like to call you “Hey, Buddy.” Cute. But, your man is always showing you ways that confirm he's your best friend.
• Boyfriends are very special people; but your man makes you feel that you are, too.

B is for being together

C is for caring for one another

D is for delight you feel when together

E is for empathy

F is for friendship, the seed of relationships

G is for generosity when it comes to gifts

H is for harmony in your relationship

I is for indulge

J is for a just companionship

K is for your kinship

L is for your love

M is for getting married

N is for no secrets

O is for the oneness you will feel

P is for becoming pregnant

Q is for how quickly your children grow up

R is for the thought of retirement

S is for something we'll keep in the bedroom.

T is for the time you spend together

U is for understanding your spouse's feelings

V is for the variances between your opinions

W is for woe you feel when your partner moves on

X is for the xylophone that is played at your 50th birthday

Y is for your happy ending

Z is for the zany memories you once shared

Friends

Every girl should have a circle of friends. I'm lucky enough to have most of my same friends from elementary school. Some of them have children and husbands now, but some of them are single, just like me. Friends help in brining balance in one's life, and we should treasure the relationships we have with people who have proven themselves to be good friends to us. Friends are people we can go out with and have a good time, cry with when we need a shoulder, and just overall talk to about whatever it is that we like to talk about. And a friend doesn't have to be the same sex as we are-one of my best friends is a guy. I can call him and talk about all of, well most of, my girl stuff, and as a straight man, he serves the same purpose as my female friends, just minus some of the drama. So, it's important to have friends whom you love, respect, and treat right. But if you're the type of person who sleeps with friends' guys, you probably will never have this luxury. Friends are, indeed, something to hold sacred and love forever!

Pastimes

Something that I like to do when I'm bored and lonely is read and write. Depending on my mood, I may pull out a good book, or maybe even get on my computer and just start building a terrific, or maybe even a hot scene, with all the details. Those are the ways I like to pass the time, and they are both things that tickle my fancy. All of us should have those things that we love to do. Some of us may like to knit, some of us may have a creative flair and like to make purses, or decorate our house. But whatever your thing is, when you get bored, give it your all and see what you can produce. Having a pastime in which you can make something that you can look back on with a smile is valuable, and you never know what knack of yours can be taken and developed into a day job, maybe. You'll never know until you try.

Job

For most adults, a job is necessary to survive. I've been lucky enough to take a hiatus from work since January, and I'm surviving just fine now, although I am looking. But having a job is something that takes a lot of our time. That's why we should try to be the best at whatever we are in our FT or PT positions. I know that it's not easy to take work home, but as a single woman, taking work home is something you do when you want to get better, or when you want to make life easier. You could probably produce better work outside the constraints of the office. Or if you don't work in an office, let's say you work in a restaurant, while at home, you can think of things that you can do better, or maybe more effective ways you can do something. Then, you can go to work the next day and try it out. We should never try to avoid work just because we leave work, because some of our best ideas don't come to work while we're around a cluster of others, but in our own bedrooms. Give it a try.

And there may be a Take Three. It depends. Let me know if you'd like to see one.

Here are some things that you should let your guy enjoy while he's with you:

1. Support Him

   Never laugh at his ideas. Be proud at his achievements. Help him in his endeavors. Always show that you care and that you will always be at his side.

2. Let Him be Him

   I bet you don't want a robot for a boyfriend. So, don't treat him like a robot. Don't dictate to him whatever YOU THINK he needs to do. Let him wear what he wants. Let him do things on his own way. Let him be with the people he's comfortable with. If there is something you don't like, communicate but don't dictate. 

3. Be a Friend

   Be a shoulder to cry on. Be a helping hand. Be a good listener. With this you can get to know each other plus you can help one another. 

4. Give Gifts

   If you love presents, he for sure would love to have a gift especially if it is from you. I have read about a guy who loves it whenever his girlfriend gives flowers for him. The fact that it is from his girl and it is not the usual makes it special. 

5. Be a Part of His Circle

   Befriend his friends. Respect and love his family. Get to know his colleagues at work. If you get along easily with these people, your man will be very proud of you! 

6. Cook

   As saying goes, “The best way to a man's heart is through his stomach.” True! Guys love gals who can cook. So, know his favorite dish and practice cooking it yourself! He'll be impressed! 

7. Show What You've Got

   Guys like it when you sing for them, dance for them, make cards for them. Show him what you have got and he will adore you! 

8. Be Confident

   Don't be jealous. Of course sometimes it adds spice to a relationship. But too much jealousy is annoying! Be confident with yourself. Remember, there is no love without trust.

Our love is the best gift we can give to our man. Stay positive!

Women's emotional centers are more active than men's

Enhanced left/right brain communication and hormonal fluctuations, as well as a more active emotional center, make emotions a much more important part of women's lives. Women understand and deal with emotions differently than men. Emotional connections, such as sympathy and mutual understanding, are important to women.

Advice for husbands: Don't feel guilty about your wife's emotional outbursts. When your wife is struggling, the best thing to do is to try to console her with a hug or other expression of love, or by letting her talk, but be careful not to let your wife draw you in to her negative emotions. Keeping a positive perspective can help her stabilize her emotions.
When you are dealing with emotions, your wife may think you need to talk them out like she does. Be honest about your need for some quiet time to think things through. She'll get used to leaving you alone if you explain your needs to her.
Advice for wives: Strong emotions lead to irrational thoughts. Try to keep things in perspective and accept the ways your husband tries to console you, even if he isn't providing the sympathy that you want. (Call your mom or girlfriends for that.) Don't use your hormonal fluctuations as an excuse to throw temper tantrums or abuse others. You can keep reasonable control of your emotions with a little practice.

When your husband is upset, give him time to think things through. Let him approach you if he wants to talk about what's wrong. He'll be much more likely to work things out this way.
Advice for both spouses: Instead of reacting to your spouse's emotional outbursts with anger, be more understanding and loving. Insisting on an eye for an eye will leave everyone hurt and just make the problem worse. If you react to an angry outburst by looking for ways to make your spouse's day a little easier, you will not only insulate yourself from hurt, but you will also shorten your spouse's distress.

Men's sexual centers are much more active than women's

Intercourse is a totally different experience for men and women. Besides the obvious physical differences, men and women also have sentimental differences in their love-making. Men are much more "right-brained" than women, making spatial relations and visual information much more important to them. Women are more concerned with an emotional connection to their husbands. Different things will stimulate and satisfy women and men.

Advice for husbands: Actively seek to reign in your impulses when it comes to other women. If you allow yourself to fantasize about other women, your relationship with your wife will suffer.

Men tend to express their love for their wives through sex. However, your wife may feel like nothing more than a power tool if you limit your expression of love to her to nothing more than groping and intercourse. Make an effort to slow things down and make sex an enjoyable experience for both of you. Find out what makes your wife feel loved (like notes, flowers, poems, etc.) and use those things to express your love for her. Women who feel a strong emotional connection with their husbands are much more open in the bedroom.

Advice for wives: Interpret your husband's desire for you for what it is-an expression of love. Don't assume that he views you as nothing more than an object for him to use. If you feel that way, you need to discuss the situation with your husband and make sure your needs are being met. Give in once in a while when you're too tired or too preoccupied.
Don't be afraid to express your desires. Doing so will enhance the experience for both of you and you'll find it much easier to connect with your husband emotionally when you are both satisfied sexually.

Advice for both spouses: Men and women both have a much better experience when they seek to please each other instead of themselves. This means the wife may need to take an aspirin now and then and the husband may need to slow things down. You'll both find that sex is much more satisfying when you gain as much pleasure from satisfying your spouse as you do from your own physical pleasure.
Women are broad minded

Women's senses are more sensitive, they notice more details, and they deal with a lot of small details better than men. Have you ever seen a table full of women all talking at once? It's because they really can both listen and talk at the same time, within reason.
Advice for men: Don't assume your wife is a wimp because she's upset over small cuts or bruises. She's probably feeling the pain more than you would. You should also trust your wife's judgment in situations where you need to take in a lot of information fast. Your wife will be able to notice signs and social cues better than you can.
Advice for women: Don't assume that your husband has noticed all the things you have or that he has heard everything you have. Help him by pointing out details he might have missed but needs to know. But don't overload him with things he doesn't need to know. You should also be patient with your husband when he's performing tasks that require sorting through details. He won't find things as easily as you or know where all the dishes go in the cupboard.

Your husband will also probably not be interested in the dozens of things you want to tell him. Don't take this as disinterest in you personally. This is another time when moms and girlfriends are helpful. Your husband won't care about the sale at the shoe store, but your friend will, so share it with her. Be willing to limit the number of things you share with your husband to the most important.

Men are narrow-minded

Men have the ability to focus solely on one thing, where women's minds will jump around even in serious situations. They will want to keep working on a project until they are done with it.

Advice for men: Don't assume your wife is as excited or focused on a project as you are. She will probably want to stop and eat before it's done, especially if the kids are hungry. Be patient if your wife interrupts you when you are focused on something. Explain to her that you will discuss other matters later when you can give more attention to them.

Advice for women: Reign in your desire to branch out to other subjects when your husband is thinking deeply about something. Give him adequate time to think through one subject before bringing another up. You may also need to gently remind him of something (like the exit he's supposed to take) when he's thinking of something else. Don't interpret his focus as a sign of diminished capacity. Being able to start, work through, and finish a project is a skill many women find difficult.

Advice for both spouses: These differences in details and the focus men and women have, can make you an effective team. If you learn to capitalize on each others' abilities you will find that jobs you do together get done faster and better than they would if only one of you did it. This can make both your lives easier.

There are dozens of additional differences between men and women. The main idea is to recognize that differences exist and change your expectations of your spouse. Men and women are made for each other. You can have a satisfying relationship when you work together. Don't judge your spouse by your standards and don't try to get them to change to suit your ideas. You will find that your spouse is really more competent and helpful than you thought when you look at them with an open mind. A good dose of mutual appreciation and acceptance can heal any wound in a relationship.

How will you know if he is then for real? I have interviewed some married woman and here are their answers:

1. If he introduced you to his family and friends

   Introducing you to his friends is an indication that he is proud of you while to his family means that he is serious with you. If he's seeing someone else, he wouldn't want his family and friends to know it especially his mother for he will be doomed!

2. If he spends quality time with you

   If he wants to talk with you often than touching you mean he wants to get to know you better. Chances are he will accept you whoever you are.

3. If he looks directly in your eyes

   Looking directly in one's eye means the person who is talking is not lying. So observe the way he looks at you, if there is no eye contact, it's either he's shy of he's telling a lie.

4. If he is willing to meet your parents

   Sincerity is also revealed especially if the guy wants to meet your family especially your protective parents. He is for real if he tries to please them because he's thinking that they are a part of your life.

5. If he keeps his promises

   Now this is also important. If he can't keep simple promises like arriving on time for your date he wouldn't be able to keep big promises like marrying you.

6. If he befriends your friends

   Being friends with your friends is also a good indication. He wants to know you more through your friends. But take note, being friends is different form flirting with.

7. If he listens to you and respects your decisions

   Listening to you intently and respecting your decision is equally important. Guys are always thinking that they have the authority over girls which of course should be obsolete nowadays.

8. If he appreciates you at your worst

   Worst appearance and smell often times turns off a guy. But this will show if he's just into your physical attribute of the whole you. Accepting you no matter what you look or smell mean he loves you dearly.

And when he did all these things, it is time for you to do the same. Remember love should be a give and take relationship.

Whether a man is willing to admit it, or not, women rule the planet. Until science completely crosses into the realm of “playing God”, men will always rely on women to allow them to complete their one basic purpose in life. I'm referring to procreation. The days of clubbing women over the head and taking them back to the cave are long gone. Now more than ever, women have choices. Face it, there is always going to be someone cooler than you.

But if network television is any indication, there is hope that the fat guy or the nerd can catch the hot chick. If you need proof, you should flip to an episode of The King of Queens, Still Standing, or Yes, Dear. All of these shows leave you with a big feeling of “yeah right, that guy could get her”. One thing that they don't tell us is how they got the girl. Either these guys are crazy rich, equinely endowed, or incredibly hilarious. They could be all of those things, but more than likely they have an above-average understanding of their women.

There is no such thing as understanding women too much, but it is possible to not understand them enough. This means that guys have to work to get to a higher level of feminine comprehension. It may require a little bit of *actual* effort and keen senses.

In my years of dating, I have never met a woman that didn't drop hints. Some are subtle and easy to miss. Yet others are blatant and incredibly obvious. I'll give you a tip: if a girl ever says, “Oh, I'd love that”, it means “Hey Dummy, I want this”.

Here's another tip, a girl's DVD (or VHS) collection will tell you volumes about what she is looking for in a relationship. This even applies to the ladies that have a massive collection. You may have to ask which ones are her favorite and then go from there. If she has a small collection, then it's easy.

This is where the actual time investment comes along. When the opportunity to discuss movies comes along, take notes. It may be necessary to break out the pen and paper and create a list. OK, try to keep up with me now. Run, don't walk, to Blockbuster or your local video store and get those movies.

Please tell me you're ready for this. The diamond-encrusted, platinum and gold key to understanding women is to watch these movies and imagine that the female lead is your girl.

Women are creatures of comfort. That's what explains the variety of flavors of lotions, eating ice cream during stressful times, and their favorite movies. There is a level of comfort that lives within the escapism of imagining being the extra special girl in the movies. The better a guy gets at embracing that, the better off he will be in the world of understanding women.

As I mentioned before, there is no such thing as knowing women too much. Take this piece of advice and put it into action. You have been given a big, shiny, golden nugget of enlightenment. Now it's up to you to make it happen.

I looked across an ocean of tanned, half naked bodies stripped down in protest of the scorching heat. A multitude of well known, artists pumped their music over the crowd in waves that seemed visible as the throng ebbed and flowed to the rhythm. The children of the 60's had Woodstock and their children, in the 80's, had Live Aid; a concert given simultaneously in England and in Philadelphia, PA to raise funds for famine relief in Ethiopia. History was made as the day unfolded. Ozzi Osborne was conscious and on stage during daylight hours. Phil Collins performed at Wembley Stadium in England and then flew across the pond to perform here in the US. Tina Turner pranced, with legs right up to her neck, across the stage in a leather teddy, leaving Mick Jagger's famous mouth agape and speechless. Robert Plant and Jimmy Page mounted the stage for a semi-Led Zeppelin reunion. Madonna braved the scorching heat in a long sleeved Chinese silk coat in response to the nude photographs of her that had been released without her authorization. And all the Woodstock wannabe's speculated whether Bruce Springsteen would be the surprise mystery final act to close the whole shebang. As it turned out, Bob Dylan, child of the 60's himself, graced the stage for that performance.

Fold in Friends

I abandoned my seat and wandered around the complex listening to musical giants the likes of Eric Clapton, The Pretenders, and Teddy Pendergrass soaking up the atmosphere when I ran in to my friend Miki, one of several friends who had traveled with me from Massachusetts. We hugged each other in excitement and disbelief that we were actually there. We met new people from all over the country who felt the same electric sensation of being part of something so global. Global love. An across the ocean brother and sisterhood kind of love. Feed the hungry love. After some drifting, I lost Miki to the crowds again with a promise to meet back at our assigned seats later. Then fully surrendered myself to become part of the whole as I snaked through the crowds, looked at the people and wondered at the parade of musicians that ignited the stage: B.B. King, Santana, Tom Petty, Duran Duran and on and on.

Add Water

I was soaked from the hoses that were opened up to cool the cooking crowd that swelled to 90,000 strong. Cannabis could be smelled cooking somewhere too. The smell of youth, the call of music and the excitement of being a part of something so huge and altruistic made an intoxicating cocktail. A natural high.

Stir Vigorously

Caught up in the magic, a glimmer of intuition caught my attention. That feeling one experiences when they know they're being watched. I felt the pull of someone's attention and instinctively scanned the crowd expecting to find a familiar face within shouting distance but what I found instead was a pair of soft, brown eyes staring at me from about twenty yards away. Not such a great distance, but with sections, seats, and isles full of people, the expanse was a moving obstacle course. A great divide but this man held my gaze across the distance. We locked eyes and I searched my memory; I didn't recognize him. We stared some more and then he stepped down from the fence he was perched upon. I lost him in the crowd but could still see his brown bandana (how 60's) bobbing above the multitudes. He was coming toward me. I felt a surge of excitement and didn't know why. But I did know that I wanted to look into those eyes again. Intrigued, I waited to see where that bandana would reappear. Then, he was right in front of me. He'd found me again in the crowd. He stood about 5'11” shirtless, tanned and lovely. He could have been younger than me or older; but it didn't matter. I just enjoyed that we'd connected and he made the effort to find me - just me - in this crowd full of thousands of women and men. He saw me and sought me out.

Turn up Heat

I looked up at him and fell into those brown eyes. We stood about a foot apart and looked at each other saying nothing but feeling electric sparks of genuine attraction. I felt my mouth smile and he took a half a step closer to me. Then Brown Eyes leaned forward with the top half of his body and hesitated with his lips just inches from my own and waited as if to say, “Is this alright?” I lifted my head toward him ever so slightly in assent and he pressured a light, sweet, lip tingling kiss upon my mouth. This was the kind of kiss one has to say “upon my mouth” not just on my mouth or lips. The simple kiss lasted only 4-5 seconds; long enough to spark passion and short enough to be proper, and in that moment, 90,000 people around us disappeared while I tasted his breath. It was only we two in the whole world. He hadn't stolen this kiss, he'd asked permission and it had been granted. It was something not taken but shared. His naked chest never touched me but I felt it all the same. His hands never touched me. He never attempted to slip his tongue into the kiss. The only part of me that connected with him physically was my lips but the connection I felt with him was absolute.

As those 90 seconds in time clicked into the history of my life, I met a man, he sought me out, we shared mutual respect, and we searched each other's hearts and fell in love, shared passion...for a moment, then parted.

Lifetime of Enjoyment

It was not until years later as I reflected on the experience that I realized I had had the perfect relationship with this man. We fell in love at the right time and parted with mutual agreement that the time for our relationship was finished. He never lied to me or cheated on me. He was never late for a date he never forgot my birthday or disappointed me. And he didn't expect anything more of me than I was willing to give. There was no laundry involved. He never broke a promise. We never moved in together to “see how that goes” only to split the cassette collection later. An entire relationship was encapsulated in a moment without complications or heartbreak. No disillusionment in him passing gas, drinking too much or seeing his rumpled underwear on my floor. We experienced passion without ulterior motives, just for passion's sake.

I still think of my time with him fondly because the unspoiled moment was a gift with all the beauty of un-trampled snow. A kiss brimming with potential. An unmarred, sweet moment shared. A kiss for love's sake. Perfection.

I can by no means answer this for every man, because the reasons for infidelity are too vast to represent properly, but I can give some insight from a guy's view. In order to really understand why a man does what he does, we must first look at the root of the problem.

By growing up in an urban area, it is taught as a young boy to get all the girls that you can get before you are tied down. It starts out at the school dance to see who can get the most phone numbers by the end of the dance. Thus, the playa trend begins. Many men sit around and brag about all the women that they have been with. The more women that you have had, the better you status is amongst your friends. This is where the seed is planted.

Most men cheat not because they don't love the person that they are with, but a lot of times, "it's the thrill of the hunt." A man's makeup is to conquer, and are always looking for something to go after. That's why it's important when you are in a relationship to keep it exciting on both ends. It's not just the woman's job to keep her man happy, but also the same responsibility is on the man.

I have been with my wife for 21 years, and when our relationship was in the early stages, I was unfaithful during the time that she was pregnant with our first daughter. It wasn't that I didn't love her, but I had a insatiable sexual appetite, and I had women of all types coming after me, and vice versa. In my mind, I was still young and didn't have a desire to be in a relationship, because I was having too much fun. So I thought, but I was hurting the one who loved me the most.

Plus, I was afraid to commit because in a previous relationship, when I got too involved, I was hurt, and that was the real problem. Ladies, when you get involved with a guy, make sure that there are no lingering baggage from a previous relationship.

Here are some things that I advise to keep your man coming after you:

1. Respect Him

   When a woman respects her man, there's nothing that a real man won't do for you. A man will leave a woman that loves him for one that respects him. A man's ego is very fragile. Don't let the hard exterior fool you. Build him up, even when he makes a mess of things.

2. Look Your Best

   A man loves for his woman to look good. I'm not saying have makeup on 24/7, but when you go out, go out stunning. You are an extension of us, and we want all the guys to envy us when we're together. We love to brag about how beautiful you are.

3. Change Up

   Every now and then change your hairstyle. Try a different hair color, a new perfume, or a new skimpy outfit for around the house. Remember we are sight stimulated, and we love variety.

4. Tame Us

   Make love to us consistently, so we're too tired to even think about looking for something else. We also love to role play. We love a lady in public, but a freak in private.

These are just a few things that have worked for me and my wife, but you do what's best for you and your man. Don't give up on love, because it's a wonderful thing, but you have to work at it. Remember there is no perfect man, but you can train us to be what you want in a man, if you put the time in.

It works because as I stated earlier, I've been with my wife for 21 years, and we've been married 19 of those years, and I'm only 39. I love her more now than I've ever have before, and that love continues to grow more and more each day.